Hazards of Homeschooling Boys

At lunch this past Sunday, I was commenting on how fortunate we were that we haven't had any major incidents in our home for a while. My husband put down his fork, looked at me, and said, "How can you say that?" He then proceeded to remind me of all the goose-eggs & road rash, the fall from a tree, the falls UP the stairs (that takes talent), smoking potato charcoal, and other miscellaneous incidents that had occurred in the seven to ten days prior to that. 

Like I said - nothing MAJOR. No broken bones, windows, or even toys (just that tree branch). No fires (the potato was pretty close, though), unapproved science experiments, or torture to animals. To top it off, we've gotten all our school work done (in the midst of some crazy busy life).

Seriously, I think that's pretty good!

Today I came across this list compiled by an anonymous homeschool mom in Austin, Texas from her own experiences and those of her fellow homeschool moms. It was too good not to share (And I'm EXTREMELY THANKFUL that I can only relate to about 1/4 of the list!). 

Hope you get a chuckle - I sure did!

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Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
   
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
   
3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
   
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
   spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
   
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
   
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
   
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
   
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
   
9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
   
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
    
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
    
12. Super glue is forever.
    
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
    
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
    
15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
    
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
    
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
    
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
    
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
    
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
    
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
    
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
    
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
    
24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this may give you reservations.

Top 10 Lessons of the Week

I think we all need reminders from time to time. Reminders of what's important, of our commitments, of where we're headed...of where we set our coffee for the 5th time today, of why we made that rule in the first place... 

I didn't begin the week intending to be reminded of anything, yet the week reminded me of a few things & realigned my perspective once again.

Maybe I'm the only homeschool mom struggling to get back "with it" after the holidays this year? We did some school this week, but I was still buried in messes, and unprepared for our 3rd Quarter. I requested that my husband take the boys away for a few days, as he traditionally does about twice a year. When we discussed it, we were both thinking a few weeks or longer down the road. Well, they left 48 hours later. My husband even Facebooked that I'd "kicked them out." Hee-Hee!

I jotted down a quick to-do list. You know, everything I could just jot down off the top of my head. The kind you'd put on a post it note or two. Yeah. It fills 2 columns on a sheet of notebook paper. Not to be dismayed, I scribbled a star beside the most important and most pressing, and set to work. I've spent the last 36 hours or so (minus a few for sleeping!) sorting, cleaning, scrubbing, planning, preparing, cooking ahead, putting away, and problem solving. Amazingly, I still have about 36 hours left to go! Judging by the items crossed off, I'm not even halfway there. However, the longest-put-off and most burdensome items are almost accomplished, and by the time the gang rolls in I'll be ready for the week ahead, and more than ready to see them!

While taking an evening coffee break, it occurred to me just how much I'd learned today. Or rather, just how many things I'd forgotten or taken for granted which I was reminded of today. I thought it would be fun to share a few with you. So without further adieu, here are the top 10 lessons of the week:

10.) Silly bands are almost as bothersome as Legos, although they don't hurt when you step on them and they do look pretty wrapped around the brush in the vacuum cleaner.

9.) Those little plastic BB's that are used with Air Soft guns can actually shoot back out of the vacuum at you. Seriously. Ouch!

8.) It feels really, really good to clean a room, leave it for several hours, and return to see it in the same state it was in when you left it. I just want to experience that occasionally. 

Honestly though, the rest of the time I prefer organized chaos. It means that people I love are here! 

(I put up these "clean" photos especially for Aunt Jessica!)

7.) Sometimes it's actually better to go with your gut and do the OPPOSITE of what the software diagram is telling you when loading paper into the printer for manual two-sided printing (It's also a good idea to test this out on 1 page first, before sending 50 pages to the print cue). 

6.) All that stuff I keep in the attic because we "might use it for something someday" IS actually a great resource when I remember that it's there.

5.) I don't have to use an item from #6 as it was intended to be used. I can use it however it's useful to me! Today's case in point: Pot lid rack bought at a yard sale that was too tall for my cabinets - turned into a closet rack for clip-on ties and ball caps!

4.) My copy of "Laying Down the Rails" is best kept in plain view, rather than under a mountain of unclipped coupons. I still have a LOT more habit training to do (with the kids and with myself!!).

3.) It really is okay if everything is not perfectly caught up. Life will go on. What fun is "perfectly caught up" for any amount of time, anyway? That's no adventure at all!  

2.) Homeschooling has made me very attached to my kids. Although thankful for this opportunity for productivity, I've been missing them like crazy all day! (I am so, so HAPPY that I feel this way! I'm ashamed to say that there was a time that I viewed them more as an inconvenience & headache than as a blessing. Praise God for changing hearts & lives!)

1.) My husband is amazing! He's an amazing father, and an amazing spouse. He lays himself aside for us in so many ways. He actually seems to enjoy being with us. He's a leader we are glad to follow. I love him more every day! (and I still can't believe he picked me!) 

How Does A Homeschooler Change A Lightbulb?

I know that many if not all of you who homeschool are familiar with this little story, however those who are our Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts & Uncles probably haven't heard it. It's kind of the homeschool version of "How many guys/blonds/pastors/etc does it take to change a lightbulb?".

I'm sure many of you relatives and non-homeschoolers wonder from time to time what on earth we do all day. One thing that you have to always keep in mind is that for most homeschool families "school" and learning are not limited to "school time." 

"School time" is when we are working with our actual curricula and doing the gotta-do's. However, we have learned not to limit our learning to that time by switching our brains to autopilot during the rest of the day. Every situation that comes up throughout the day is an opportunity to learn. Especially things like logic and the sciences.

We teach our children to ask questions about what's happening around them, rather than just floating through life taking all these things for granted:
When the little dump truck comes to drop off the firewood, why does the wood stay put until the bed is raised up to a certain height? How high does the bed have to be raised before the wood begins to fall out? Why is it that when you adjust the flue of the wood stove one way it fills the stove with smoke, but when it's adjusted another way it makes the fire grow very large and hot and pulls the smoke up the chimney? Why won't oil mix with water? How does baking powder make the cake rise? What's the engine oil in the motor for, anyway? Why don't people always like it when you wear your Union Civil War uniform around here (in the Shenandoah Vally, Virginia)? Why is that tree over there only growing leaves on one side?...............

That said, this lightbulb story is a little exaggerated (only very little, for some households!) and it in no way states that we go to all this trouble for every little event and occurrence. (Can you imagine?? LOL!!) 

What it does do is paint a picture for you of our mindset as homeschoolers. I hope it will give you a good laugh, and a little insight into what it is that we're doing all day. We certainly don't perpetually sit in the corner with our nose in a book - What fun would that be??
 


How Does A Homeschooler Change A Lightbulb?

First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library; then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison, and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Then, everyone takes a trip to the store where they compare types of light bulbs as well as prices and figure out how much change they'll get if they buy two bulbs for $1.99 and pay with a five-dollar bill.

On the way home, a discussion develops over the history of money and also Abraham Lincoln, as his picture is on the five-dollar bill. Finally, after building a homemade ladder out of branches dragged from the woods, the light bulb is installed. And there is light.