Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Hazards of Homeschooling Boys

At lunch this past Sunday, I was commenting on how fortunate we were that we haven't had any major incidents in our home for a while. My husband put down his fork, looked at me, and said, "How can you say that?" He then proceeded to remind me of all the goose-eggs & road rash, the fall from a tree, the falls UP the stairs (that takes talent), smoking potato charcoal, and other miscellaneous incidents that had occurred in the seven to ten days prior to that. 

Like I said - nothing MAJOR. No broken bones, windows, or even toys (just that tree branch). No fires (the potato was pretty close, though), unapproved science experiments, or torture to animals. To top it off, we've gotten all our school work done (in the midst of some crazy busy life).

Seriously, I think that's pretty good!

Today I came across this list compiled by an anonymous homeschool mom in Austin, Texas from her own experiences and those of her fellow homeschool moms. It was too good not to share (And I'm EXTREMELY THANKFUL that I can only relate to about 1/4 of the list!). 

Hope you get a chuckle - I sure did!


Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
  1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
  2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
  3. A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
  4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
    spread paint on all four walls of a 20 x 20 ft. room.
  5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
  6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
  7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
  8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
  9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
  10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
  11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
  12. Super glue is forever.
  13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
  14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
  15. VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
  16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
  17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
  18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
  19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
  20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
  21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
  22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
  23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
  24. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without boys do it because:
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this may give you reservations.

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