Weekly Wrap-Up 12/15/2012

a post by Jenni {aka Mom}

(I'm part of this week's Weekly Wrap-Up over at Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers! Click over to check out all the other posts, full of tips and tidbits that work in real life.)

Somehow, in light of yesterday’s shooting, the events our little family experienced this week seem unimportant. On my personal blog I posted a few thoughts yesterday. My prayers are with the families affected, and my hope is that each will find true Comfort, Peace, and Hope in Christ through this tragic, heart-wrenching situation.

Tomorrow, I’ll take another one of my babies’ marbles from their jars. (If you’re not familiar with our marble tradition, read this old post.) I’ll thank God again for the precious moments I have shared with each of them this week. I’ll thank God that I was able to hug them in the morning, and didn’t have aching, empty arms and a jar of weeks that "could have been" like the parents of those killed at Sandy Hook. I’ll also beg God to help me treasure my children more, and mother them better. I’ll praise Him for restoring the years the locusts ate, and lifting me from past regrets. I’ll ask Him to continue to make me more like Christ, to continue to give me wisdom and guidance, and strength, and to guard me in His grace from making new regrets. To be a good steward of all the blessings He’s showered upon me - including my precious sons. I can never know how long I'll have them with me - or how long they'll have me with them. 

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God give us homes!

Homes where the Bible is honored and taught;

Homes with the Spirit of Christ in their thought;

Homes that a likeness to heaven have caught.

          God give us homes!

          God give us homes!

Homes with the father in priest-like employ;

Homes that are bright with a far-reaching joy;

Homes where no world-stain shall come to annoy.

          God give us homes!

          God give us homes!

Homes there the mother is queen-like in love;

Ruled in the fear of the Savior above;

Homes that to youth most inspiring shall prove.

          God give us homes!

          God give us homes!

Homes with the children to brighten the hours;

Budding and blooming like beautiful flowers;

Places of sunshine - sweet, sanctified bowers.

          God give us homes!

{By J.R. Clements}

Taken from p. 21-22 of Verses of Virtue, compiled and edited by Elizabeth Beall Phillips

No Place For Boys

a post by Jenni {aka Mom}

As a mother of three boys, I really appreciate prose and poetry about the gender. Each one of our sons is completely different from the others, yet all three share some distinct male characteristics in their personalities and thought processes. I enjoy being a mother of boys so, so much! Even though they're (sometimes inappropriately!) louder and more full of (sometimes annoying!) energy than most girls I know. Even though they present unique challenges in education, and try my patience in deeply sanctifying ways. Yes, I love having boys!

The following poem really resonated with me. I grew up with brothers, and I'm watching my sons grow. I'm watching the sons of friends grow as well. Let's take care that we make and keep a place for our boys. :)

No Place For Boys
(author unknown)

"What can a boy do, and where can a boy stay,
If he is always told to get out of the way?"

"He cannot sit here, and he must not stand there.
The cushions that cover the overstuffed chair
Were put there, of course, to be seen and admired;
A boy has no business to ever feel tired.
The beautiful roses and flowers that bloom
On the floor of the darkened and delicate room
Were not made to walk on - at least not by boys.
The house is no place, anyway, for their noise.

"Yet boys must walk somewhere and what if their feet,
Sent our of our houses, sent into the street,
Should step round the corner, and pause at the door
Where other boys' feet have paused often before?
Should pass through the gateway of glittering light
Where jokes that are merry and songs that are bright
Ring our a warm welcome with flattering voice,
And temptingly say, 'Here's a place for you boys!'

"Ah, what if they should? What if your boy or mine
Should cross o'er the threshold which marks out the line
'Twixt virtue and vice, 'twixt pureness and sin,
And leave all his innocent boyhood within?
O! what if they should, because you and I,
While the days and the months and the years hurry by,
Are too busy with cares and with life's fleeting joys
To make 'round our hearthstone a place for the boys?

"There's a place for the boys; they'll find it somewhere,
And if our own homes are too daintily fair
For the touch of their fingers, or the tread of their feet,
They'll find it, and find it alas, in the street
'Mid the gildings of sin and the glitter of vice.
For the getting of gain that our lifetime employs,
If we fail to provide a good place for the boys."

(taken from the book Soul Sculpture by E. F. & L. Harvey)

What I'm Thankful For 2012

a post by Jenni {aka Mom}
Over on my personal blog I've posted my 2012 list of thankfulness. This year I lovingly copied a friend and used the alphabet as my guide to think of 26 things to be thankful for. I've copied "C" through "G" below:

Caleb ~ I’m thankful for my youngest son. For his sense of humor, his laugh, his impersonations, and his tender heart. I’m thankful for how he covers me with a blanket on the occasion I fall asleep on the sofa. I’m thankful for his dry, sarcastic, wit. I’m thankful for his love for the Lord, his compassionate prayers for others, and his hunger for God’s Word. I’m thankful for his creativity, and the photography and other artistic things we do together. I’m thankful for his love of nature, and our mutual love of cooking.

Desserts ~ God didn’t have to give us taste buds, or the ability to enjoy the food we consume for energy. He didn’t have to give us honey or other treats, but He saw fit to do so. I’m thankful that enjoyment, when used rightly, is a precious gift that we can praise God for.

Electricity ~ The extended power outage this past summer helped remind me that things like this shouldn’t be taken for granted! I’m blessed to live in this age in a wealthy country like America, and I’m thankful for the modern inventions, tools, and conveniences that come with it. I have electricity, lots of clean water, hot water, appliances for cooking and cleaning, electric lights…our blessings are truly overflowing!

Farmers ~ I’m thankful that, despite ‘Big Ag’ and all that comes with it, there are still small, local farmers in America who proudly provide us with healthy meat, milk, eggs, and produce. I’m thankful to live so near local farms that I can spend the better part of my grocery budget there directly, and know right where our food comes from.

Genuine friendship ~ I’m thankful for the handful of friends God has blessed me with who are genuine, faithful, godly, loyal, and true. Those who love me despite my warts, whom I can trust implicitly, who share their hearts and lives with me, and who pray for me and point me ever towards Christ. What a rare, precious gift!

Click over to read the rest :)

My babies' marbles, and seizing the day

a post by Jenni {aka Mom}
 

I'm linked up over at The Modest Mom. Click over and take a look at all the great posts linked up today :)


 

Years ago on a radio talk show - before we were married, if I’m not mistaken - my husband heard the “marble illustration” for the first time. We’ve heard it in modified forms over the years.

The basic premise is this:

We’re only given a certain amount of time with our children. The average American parent interacts with their children primarily in the evenings and on the weekend. If a child lives at home from birth through age 18, that child’s parents will have 936 weekends to spend with that child. We ought to think of each of those weekends cumulatively as marbles in a jar, and as each weekend expires one marble is removed from the jar until finally the jar is empty and we’ve lost our opportunities.

The encouragement was to prioritize time with your children. To go ahead and give him that birthday party because there’s not always going to be a next year. To spend Saturday building the treehouse with your son or taking your daughter out for ice cream instead of playing golf, working overtime, or rotting in front of the TV -- because you only have so many opportunities to do so.

As a Christian homeschool family, we’ve expanded on this idea as it relates to our lifestyle. We are blessed through homeschooling to not only have weekends to engage in a fun activity with our children, but to have full weeks of interaction with them.

Of course, none of us are guaranteed that number of weeks. Children die every day, as do parents. We’re only given the hope that we have that many weeks. We may have even less.

A while back, as I saw our boys growing older and as I became aware that we were rounding the corner to the home stretch of parenting them at home, I decided to make a real, literal marble jar for each child. 

I think it would have been less effective to have made the jars when the boys were little, because the perception at that end of the race is so different. However, making them now when the hourglass is noticeably waning was profound for me. I’m acutely aware that our time together is short, and I admittedly needed accountability. It’s far too easy to switch on auto-pilot and coast along (and things rarely work out well when we do that).

To think that these jars hold only about half of the 936 weeks, so though Bird's is full his marbles are half gone. I can't imagine how empty Bo's jar would look if those same marbles were in a jar twice this size. 

But that doesn't depress me. It doesn't make me mourn the fact that they're growing up, nor does it make me want to cling to them tightly and keep them babies. It also doesn't excite me. It doesn't at all make me joyfully toss out the marbles one by one, just counting the days until I can "be rid of" these "burdens". No. Both those are sinful tendencies we might have. 

Seeing these jars and watching the marbles decline emboldens me and motivates me to do my best. I've only one race, one shot, and I want to do the best I can. I have messed up royally in the past. I have stumbled many times. Seeing what remains in the race motivates me to get up and just keep running my best from where I'm at.

Every Sunday I remove a marble from each of their jars. I take a moment then to reflect on the week that has just passed and to pray for the week ahead.

Our “marble goals” are so much more than making sure to plan a fun activity, though we do have plenty of those. My husband and I have deeper goals, bigger goals. Goals we share and goals that are individual to each of us as parents. Goals for the family as a whole and goals for each child individually. Goals and choices that seem little are often those that make the biggest impact in the long run, either positively or negatively.

Here are a few of the “marble goal questions” I ask myself as mother each week:

·         Was I loving in my interactions with my children? Did I control my temper? Did I discipline them when they needed it? Was I patient as they were learning? Was I kind - or did I allow my adult troubles or moods to overflow atop my children? Did I demonstrate care, love, and kindness to them each as individuals?

·         Was I diligent as a mother and teacher? Did I encourage good habits? Did I assist them in overcoming bad habits now, while my children are young? Was I their advocate in overcoming bad habits and obstacles, or did I simply nag and condemn them? Did I take advantage of real life learning opportunities? Did I follow up as I should?

·         Was I fun? Did I play and laugh, or was I all serious sour-puss all day every day? Did I listen to their stories? Did I allow them to explain their intricate Lego creations and those things that were important to them?

·         Did I take the time to interact individually with each child? Did I shut the laptop and put down the Smartphone when they needed to talk to me? Did I pay attention to their lives, moods, and needs or tune out as much of the childishness as possible so I could focus on “more important” things?

·         Did I let them see my passion for Christ? Did I prioritize Him by seeking Him first, having my time with Him, speaking of Him, and taking my joy in Him? Did I encourage my children in their walks with Him (those that are believers), and did I keep the Gospel in front of them so that they have every opportunity to hear it and be saved. Did I let them hear me pray, see me read God’s Word, hear me share Christ, see me serve in our church? Did I demonstrate a servant’s heart? Did I serve without complaining?

·         Did I set a good example for them? Did I model what I want them to learn? Did I practice what I preach, and admit and apologize for my inevitable mistakes and hypocrisy?

There are many things I could add, but you get the idea.

I encourage you to imagine your child’s marble jar, and keep that image in your mind. We’re only given so many weeks. Let us treasure that time, steward it, and use it wisely.

{Click on over to my personal blog, if you'd like. I've been mulling over this marbles metaphor for months - that's a mouthful! - and I have shared some of my thoughts there regarding the marbles of the Christian's life}

Top 10 Lessons of the Week

I think we all need reminders from time to time. Reminders of what's important, of our commitments, of where we're headed...of where we set our coffee for the 5th time today, of why we made that rule in the first place... 

I didn't begin the week intending to be reminded of anything, yet the week reminded me of a few things & realigned my perspective once again.

Maybe I'm the only homeschool mom struggling to get back "with it" after the holidays this year? We did some school this week, but I was still buried in messes, and unprepared for our 3rd Quarter. I requested that my husband take the boys away for a few days, as he traditionally does about twice a year. When we discussed it, we were both thinking a few weeks or longer down the road. Well, they left 48 hours later. My husband even Facebooked that I'd "kicked them out." Hee-Hee!

I jotted down a quick to-do list. You know, everything I could just jot down off the top of my head. The kind you'd put on a post it note or two. Yeah. It fills 2 columns on a sheet of notebook paper. Not to be dismayed, I scribbled a star beside the most important and most pressing, and set to work. I've spent the last 36 hours or so (minus a few for sleeping!) sorting, cleaning, scrubbing, planning, preparing, cooking ahead, putting away, and problem solving. Amazingly, I still have about 36 hours left to go! Judging by the items crossed off, I'm not even halfway there. However, the longest-put-off and most burdensome items are almost accomplished, and by the time the gang rolls in I'll be ready for the week ahead, and more than ready to see them!

While taking an evening coffee break, it occurred to me just how much I'd learned today. Or rather, just how many things I'd forgotten or taken for granted which I was reminded of today. I thought it would be fun to share a few with you. So without further adieu, here are the top 10 lessons of the week:

10.) Silly bands are almost as bothersome as Legos, although they don't hurt when you step on them and they do look pretty wrapped around the brush in the vacuum cleaner.

9.) Those little plastic BB's that are used with Air Soft guns can actually shoot back out of the vacuum at you. Seriously. Ouch!

8.) It feels really, really good to clean a room, leave it for several hours, and return to see it in the same state it was in when you left it. I just want to experience that occasionally. 

Honestly though, the rest of the time I prefer organized chaos. It means that people I love are here! 

(I put up these "clean" photos especially for Aunt Jessica!)

7.) Sometimes it's actually better to go with your gut and do the OPPOSITE of what the software diagram is telling you when loading paper into the printer for manual two-sided printing (It's also a good idea to test this out on 1 page first, before sending 50 pages to the print cue). 

6.) All that stuff I keep in the attic because we "might use it for something someday" IS actually a great resource when I remember that it's there.

5.) I don't have to use an item from #6 as it was intended to be used. I can use it however it's useful to me! Today's case in point: Pot lid rack bought at a yard sale that was too tall for my cabinets - turned into a closet rack for clip-on ties and ball caps!

4.) My copy of "Laying Down the Rails" is best kept in plain view, rather than under a mountain of unclipped coupons. I still have a LOT more habit training to do (with the kids and with myself!!).

3.) It really is okay if everything is not perfectly caught up. Life will go on. What fun is "perfectly caught up" for any amount of time, anyway? That's no adventure at all!  

2.) Homeschooling has made me very attached to my kids. Although thankful for this opportunity for productivity, I've been missing them like crazy all day! (I am so, so HAPPY that I feel this way! I'm ashamed to say that there was a time that I viewed them more as an inconvenience & headache than as a blessing. Praise God for changing hearts & lives!)

1.) My husband is amazing! He's an amazing father, and an amazing spouse. He lays himself aside for us in so many ways. He actually seems to enjoy being with us. He's a leader we are glad to follow. I love him more every day! (and I still can't believe he picked me!) 

Shouldering Unnecessary Burdens

Why, oh why, do we do this to ourselves? The holiday season rolls in on Black Friday, and even some of the most well-meaning homeschool and Christian families find themselves stressed and overwhelmed with all the "holiday activity" because they forgot that little command - "do not be conformed to this world..." Ring a bell?

During the very time intended for us to reflect on God's precious gift of salvation - during the time full of opportunity to spend time with loved ones - we instead jump right in with the world and tie ourselves to all sorts of festivities and obligations. Not that activities such as holiday parties, recitals, plays, and shopping are wrong in and of themselves. It's just when we allow the abundance of those things to interfere with the truly important that we run into trouble.

The really unfortunate thing is that many who fall into this trap don't really seem to notice at all. Their crazy schedule during the holidays is only slightly worse than their schedule is normally. How many homeschool families do you see who profess with their mouth that they chose that path at least in part to simplify and have more time together as a family, yet have each child involved in a myriad of activities independent from the rest of the family? I've known homeschool moms whose schedule and stress level (and daily miles on the minivan!) would put any ole' traditional soccer mom to shame. Again, it's not that extracurricular activities are wrong in and of themselves, but is all that running around really helping you accomplish your dreams and goals for your family? Is it helping to accomplish God's purposes for your family?

It is okay to say "no" sometimes.


Some reel at the thought of adding family devotions or other simple family-centered activities to their already packed schedules, yet don't think twice before adding another sport practice, social event, or dance class. We pile unnecessary burdens upon our backs, and then whine about what a horrible burden the truly important things are. 

You know, God's commandments are not burdensome when God is your priority. Neither is time invested in your family burdensome when family is put in its proper place. When we do things God's way, rather than our own way, we really do find rest. His yoke is indeed easy, and His burden light. It's all the other stuff that weighs us down.


We all (myself included!) each ought to take a minute to evaluate our priorities, comparing them with those outlined for us in scripture. This holiday season, and in the upcoming year, let's not toil under the heavy burdens of this world while neglecting the truly important. As Christians, that's not the pattern we're supposed to follow anyway! 

You'll never have another chance to live today. One hundred years from now, is what you did really going to matter?

We're weirdos & I like it

As you heard the other day from Bird, we had "big plans" for Thanksgiving this year. 2010 seems to be one of those years, though, in which we seem to perpetually need to just go with the flow. 

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving my grandfather was airlifted to UVA Medical Center with bleeding on the brain, and we nervously anticipated his surgery and a potential loss to our family. Amazingly, he was able to pull through the ordeal without surgery and to the best of my knowledge was sent home on Friday in stable condition! God has been so merciful to him. This man has survived more health crises than anyone I know in his almost 90 years, and we are thankful to have him with us for a while longer.

So trips to the hospital and being "on-call" took up much of our scheduled "playtime." As that situation settled, I went ahead and prepared our Thanksgiving meal as usual, and we enjoyed it quietly together - just me, my husband & our children. Since then, we've gotten some cleaning done and spent time reading and relaxing, and really to many people our Thanksgiving holiday would have seemed very dull. It's one of the rare years that no one has come for supper - we virtually always have some sub-set of friends or family in our home with us. Thanksgiving dinner was in so many ways no different than our usual dinners together. Relatively ordinary.

But then, even without the buzz and bustle of visitors and the large amounts of "fun activities," I see something extraordinary in our home for which I am very grateful. I know it sounds weird - maybe even a little crazy - but we actually seem to like each other. Don't get me wrong - we all have our moments and little tiffs. Yet in this world of Disney promising that watching one of their movies together fosters a closer family - and parents using those same movies as babysitters* - there are actually families who can be in the same house together for extended periods of time without a working television and not only refrain from murdering one another but actually enjoy one-another's company . There are actually families who don't wear a molded plastic smile in each other's presence, hiding the dislike, mockery, disdain, and slander beneath - but rather demonstrate genuineness and honesty toward one another as well as a genuine care and concern for the other. Sure, we may not agree on everything, but we love each other anyway. And we're not afraid to address disagreements directly and honestly. 

We may be one of the few households of such weirdos in our family tree - but I am certain that we are not the only weirdos out there!

As we sat around the dinner table, wrapping up our fall leaf project by piling the leaves on the table and having Daddy read them all aloud, I was so touched by that reality. We're weirdos, and I like it! God has blessed us exceedingly and abundantly - not the least of those blessings being each other. Regardless of circumstances, we have so much to be thankful for.

Just an aside: if you're stuck in the world's mold of "family," but long for genuineness in your relationships, it's never too late to become a weirdo yourself. It's part of that whole Golden Rule thing...which starts with you. God can make a weirdo out of anyone.

*Just a little caveat here: I am in no way an anti-TV Nazi. Nor am I anti-Disney. I don't think owning a TV is sin, nor watching something produced by Disney. I am simply referring a particular phenomenon in our country, and the "Disney brings the family together" commercials that precede the movie on each DVD nowadays. We own a TV - more than one in fact - and we do selectively watch things together. I mentioned the "Disney Phenomenon" only because it is such a recognizable symptom of the breakdown of the family in America. That's it. Please don't read more into it than that.

Time for Plan B!

It’s very interesting to me how easily even homeschool moms can get stuck in a rut. Sometimes we become so loyal to a particular method or system that we stick to it even when it’s not working.

I’m sure we’d all agree that each child is different, and many of us can point out the differences between our own children (if we have more than one child). One reason I love homeschooling is that I can customize my teaching to fit each child’s learning style. The fact that traditional schooling in a classroom cannot do that is one of the many reasons we removed our boys from that environment. I know that many other homeschool families feel the same way.

We must be sure to keep that in mind as we navigate the education of our children. It’s far too easy for Mom to find a method she likes, that works well with one or more of her children, and to stick to all its fundamentals as if they were Biblical doctrine – even when one or more children are clearly not thriving.

If I had to technically classify my “methodology” I’d have to title myself “eclectic,” because I do pull methods and curricula from several areas. That said, I am a HUGE Charlotte Mason* fan. I think her writings are brilliant, her principles overall godly, her logic sound, and her methods balanced. Two of our three boys thrive under this method of instruction…while the other has certain areas in which he struggles - mainly in language.

If you’re not familiar with the Charlotte Mason Method, one of its fundamentals for reading comprehension and language skills is the use of narration – much like in Classic Education. Well, this particular child has significant problems understanding, processing, and retaining what sometimes seems like almost everything he hears or reads. Without going into too much detail I can sum up the matter by saying that narration has been a MAJOR frustration for both him and I. I knew after over a year of struggling that I had to find another method to use with him to exercise these language skills. My “pet” method simply was not working.

I had to find a way to give my son the desire and motivation to play closer attention to what he reads, and to willingly go back and look in the book on his own to search for information he missed. Book projects to the rescue! I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of them before – I have done a few myself in the past. For this particular child, book projects have been the ticket to sparking his interest and causing him to exercise his “reading comprehension muscle.”

A book project is in some ways similar to narration and to a book report – but much more fun & engaging. Actually both narration and a traditional book report are on our official “book project list,” they’re just not nearly as creative. We have a long list of “Mommy-approved options;” I’ll just describe a few of them here to get your motor running (if anyone would like a copy of our list, just shoot me an email and I’ll gladly send it to you).

Map Project – Create a map (to scale if possible) of the setting. Include terrain, locations of events, homes of characters, and anything else significant from the book. Include a map key/legend. (Mom can make a list of items that must be present on the map – make it age appropriate)

Map Book Project - "Archimedes and the Door of Science" by Jeane Bendick

Map Book Project - "The Wright Brothers" by Quentin Reynolds

Illustrate – Using the medium of your choice draw or paint your favorite scene from the book. Include as much detail as possible. (Again, Mom can list details that must be present in order to accurately depict the scene)

Illustration Book Project - "Mr Popper's Penguins" by Richard and Florence Atwater

Crossword Puzzle – Choose 10-20 vocabulary words from the book, and create a crossword puzzle with them using simple definitions for clues (This is a great way to solidify facts learned in "living" history books!)

Crossword Book Project - "Augustus Caesar's World" by Genevieve Foster

These are just a few of the projects we’ve done (Please forgive the cut-off images; in those cases my scanner is not large enough to scan the entire project). Other projects have included interviews with the characters, constructing an item from the story, becoming a character and writing about what you would do differently in his/her shoes, and many other activities. 

I still use narration for daily readings a good deal of the time, but all 3 boys really enjoy having a book project to work on once every couple weeks. 

Since I began incorporating book projects, my son's reading comprehension has noticeably improved. I am looking forward to seeing even more improvement in the months to come. 

Sometimes it works out beautifully to embrace Plan B!


*If you're unfamiliar with the Charlotte Mason school method, you can read more about it here . A very good book to read about it, if you want to dig deeper, is actually a modern summary of Charlotte's own 6 volume series on education. Or you can read the entire original series for free online.